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The lager for loggers big and small. Put an axe in one hand and a glass in the other. Safety not guaranteed.

So dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay.
Except Ponyboy.
And this shimmering blonde ale blended with rich, barrel aged coffee for a taste far superior to anything you'll find digging around in those old dusty treasure chests.

Gargantuan. Tenacious. Foreboding. Ominous. Portentous. Really, there are endless ways to describe the terrible creature lurking beneath the waves. One sailor managed to escape a death defying encounter with the beast. Xavier Luis floated upon a raft of his splintered hull to tell the townsfolk that the legends were true. In the darkness, it waits. Many will pass unknowingly above it. Only some will survive.

Dimmsdale's Channel 7 News is helmed by the one and only Chet Ubetcha: handsome, muscular, and just a little on the short side. Thankfully, pours of the Czech dark lager named in his honor are a cool 16 ounces tall. Call on your fairy godparents, or Fairly Oddparents, and wish for as much Czech Ubetcha as you can get your hands on.

Lady Elvira Grey rules over the largest (and one of the safest) towns in all of Albion: the capital city of Bowerstone! A bustling and bountiful North section; a slum in the South. What more could anyone want? A quay? A jail? It has them all! It even has a namesake brown ale that suits citizens all the way from the Market to Fairfax Gardens. Grab a pint and peruse to your heart's content.

La Schtroumpfette in French, Smurfette was created by Gargamel to sow jealousy among and spy on the other Smurfs. She was also voiced by both Katy Perry and Rihanna? No wonder she's the love interest of almost every Smurf. She was first introduced in Spirou, a magazine in Belgium, in 1966. This makes her, just like her namesake drink, a Belgian blonde. Smurf's up, dudettes!

A squadron of slight scientists surround a cycler, staring, studying, speculating. Years and years of hard work have built to this day. Suddenly: Eureka! They've found it. The answer to what makes them tick. The source of their every being. A prime pale ale with Citra and Simcoe that anchors the foundation of gnomic life. The one, the only, The Human G-Nome.

Upon a white warg rides Azog, the Pale Orc, father of Bolg, bane of Thror, and the Defiler of Moria. Upon a hazy NEIPA with Nelson Sauvin, Motueka, and Rakau hops rides a foamy head on its way to your glass. Trust us, between the two, you're absolutely getting the better end of the deal. The real Pale Orc is kind of a rough dude to hang out with. Our Pale Orc is likely to become your best friend.

In the first age of Middle Earth, the highlands of Dorthonion, north of Beleriand were known as Mirkwood. In later ages, the name transferred to the Wilderland, east of the river Anduin. If you aren't sure where those places are, check our bathroom walls. While you ponder your place in history, sip on a third version of Mirkwood: a triple dry-hopped double NEIPA with Krush, Superdelic, Elani, and Lupomax hops.

Beauty is in the eye(s) of this orange creamsicle inspired milkshake IPA. Take a drink and become one with the elder orbs. Xanathar approved.

Old Pom Bombadil was a merry fellow; bright red his fruit was and his base was yellow. Stopping along the path through the old forest, Pom whispers: "I am old, Eldest, that's what I am ...Pom was here before the river and the trees. Pom remembers the first raindrop and the first acorn." That's not exactly true since we just brewed Pom, but he's so happy and carefree, we're not gonna burst his bubble. We'll just let everyone be as jolly as he, while drinking a refreshing pomegranate berliner and singing a merry song.

Lock, Shock, and Barrel are tasked with nabbing a big red lobster man for their boss, Oogie Boogie. Little do they know, the Sandy Claws is really every child's favorite Christmas Kris: Kringle, that is. Just like the candy canes that adorn his homeland, Sandy Claws has a sweet base with a touch of peppermint to bring the holiday cheer.

With my mind on my money and my money on Johnny brewing a beer full of coconut, Djinn and Juice returns to the top of the charts remixed with toasted coconut and vanilla. We don't know why these djinns keep showing up on brew days, but we know exactly what Johnny wished for: an imperial ice cream sout with coconut and vanilla.

Cinderella, Shakespeare, and even Shrek have put their spin on one of the most classic characters of all time: the Fairy Godmother. Our take on the tale brings you a berliner bursting with blueberries and raspberries: Berry Godmother. If your wish is for a smoothie sour that sends your tastebuds soaring, then your wish just might be granted.

Jumbee, jumbie, mendo, or chongo: whatever you call it, it's a demon and it's coming for you. You can ward him off by putting shoes outside your door, but you'd better drink some Jumbee Juice to steel your nerves just the same. It's to die for.

A cross between a bear and an owl that hugs like a bear and attacks with its beak? Well that's an owlbear - a beast people have been waging war against in every version of Dungeons and Dragons ever produced. So what, then, is an Owlberry? Well that's a question that can only be answered at the bottom of a glass. The only thing we can tell you for sure is that no owlbears were harmed in the making of this beer.

House elves can become intoxicated on this potent potable, but it takes heaps to get witches and wizards falling off of their broomsticks. Made with butterscotch, ice cream, and vanilla, this buttered beer is sure to provide a warming effect for the holidays.

Enter the wonderful Wizarding World through a magical secret portal. Or porter. Rather than a brick wall at King's Cross Station, this is a captivating coconut and coffee concoction that will take you on a wild ride just in time for the Yule Ball. Mind the gap... and the dementors.

Making a special appearance is a classic and a fan favorite; Boba Fest is our festbier for the fall this year. Rugged and stoic, Boba could work for criminals across the galaxy and still steal the hearts of fans. Come on in and enjoy, but don't overdo it. He's no good to me dead.

Obscuring unique gifts from the Old Kingdom of Albion is an army of Demon Doors. Rare to find and even more rare to outwit, they are ancient oddities only few have the privilege of encountering. We've created a dark barleywine just as unique and crafty. With notes of dark fruit, toffee, and tobacco, Demon Door hides an absolute treasure trove of flavor.

Our alchemists in the lab toiled day and night to combine two unique elements: barleywine and stout. The resulting experiment ended up melding together as seamlessly as oil on canvas. Like Van Gogh's Starry Night, this stout and barleywine blend (starleywine, if you will) creates a magical sensation in those lucky enough to experience it.

Jinkies! A neapolitan stout featuring chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry brewed with our buddies at Forbidden Root? That's the kind of snack that a ragamuffin in a green t-shirt and a Great Dane with a penchant for the letter 'R' can really get into. It's not a twenty layer sandwich, but it's just as satisfying when you're out solving mysteries with the gang.

For King of Beasts: Coconut Maple Coffee, we took the King of Beasts base (aged for 48 months in a Rittenhouse Rye barrel) and added some of our favorite adjuncts: a whole heap of coconut, some barrel aged maple syrup, and coffee. Picture Sekhmet, but more flavor and less fur. Adding to an already dominant drink, King of Beasts: Coconut Maple Coffee knows no equal.

Lock, Shock, and Barrel are tasked with nabbing a big red lobster man for their boss, Oogie Boogie. Little do they know, the Sandy Claws is really every child's favorite Christmas Kris: Kringle, that is. Just like the candy canes that adorn his homeland, Sandy Claws has a sweet base with a touch of peppermint to bring the holiday cheer.

Salvatore Maranzano organized a Sicilian gang of bootleggers and gamblers who began the Castellammarese War - which would overthrow New York's crime overlord, Joe Masseria, and establish Maranzano as the capo di tutti capi (boss of all the bosses). Salvatore's stint as capo di tutti capi would last only a few months, so you better hurry in here.

Celebrimbor was the second most gifted Elven smith, behind only Feanor, crafter of the silmarils. But you knew that. Bramble is the common name for the genus rubus, which contains anywhere from 250 to 1000 species of berries. But you knew that too. What you didn't know was that we combined them into a black currant, blueberry, and vanilla session mead so divine that it could fuel the crafting of some really special moments. Hopefully it's Annatar approved.

He's big. He's purple. He's possibly one of a unique species or an anthropomorphic taste bud. One thing's for sure: he's history's greatest monster. Grimace. Introduced in 1971 as 'Evil Grimace', a more fitting title there has never been. His whole thing was stealing milkshakes and Cokes. Well, not on our watch. This mead with Concord grapes should grab his attention. You can handle him. You've been trained for this.

Just in time for Thanksgiving, a cranberry mead inspired by The King of Bootleggers: Charley Dale. After getting out of jail in late 1921, he spent his first taste of freedom sending his former fellow inmates a taste of the holidays with a gallon of oysters and a peck of cranberries. His friends wouldn't soon forget him and you won't soon forget his namesake mead.

Why the name Bonnie for this pear hazelnut delight? Because she and her husband Clyde formed one of the most famous 'pears' of gangsters in American history. Bonnie Parker was one half of the infamous duo known for robbing banks, stores, and even funeral homes. She lived fast and died young. This bottle is likely to follow suit, but it will live on in our memories.

Clyde Barrow was the male side of the famed gangster tandem of Bonnie and Clyde. This means he's also the counterpart to our co-release, Bonnie. Still showcasing pears as the primary flavor, this time we add vanilla to round out this decadent partnership. Despite his unscrupulous decisions in life, Clyde's middle name was Champion, We find that quite appropriate for this one.

The Barrow Gang was a collective of criminals and bank robbers headed by Clyde Barrow of the notorious pair Bonnie and Clyde. The other members of the group added a little spice to the already intense life that Bonnie and Clyde led, so we've added a little spice to some pear in the form of habanero peppers, just because we can. It may not have ended well for the real Barrow Gang, but this Barrow Gang finishes with a perfect little kick.

The Beacons of Minas Tirith are lit! Gondor calls for aid! And Fabled Brew Works will answer! Rohan was busy. They've got a lot of horse stuff going on, cut them some slack. While we might not have the strength of Theoden's Rohirrim, we do have the strength of a mead with blackberry, walnut, and coconut. It probably won't hold off Saruman's forces, but it'll help you forget about all the fighting.